NCIS: the Book Club
by sansone
Summary: Let's imagine our characters were in vacuum with no cases to solve and a lot of time on their hands. Could they still survive a book club meeting? "True, Abby had sent a vaguely threatening email, but could her words scare Gibbs out of his basement? Tony out of his neglect of all things paperback that did not involve naked women on the cover?"


**AN: **I'm sick and jet-lagged and I had this idea on the plane home. Excuse the silliness ;D  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Like, nothing. Except for a few different types of sore throat medicine. Also, there are some spoilers for _Persuasion. _;)

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"They're not coming, Kate."

Abby's exaggerated pout _almost _cracked Kate up, but she had the good reason to bite her lip and humor her friend, who was neither sad nor surprised at this outcome. "Should we start then?"

Her brow scrunched in thought, Abby ran her fingers over the cover of _Persuasion, _a playful smile tugging at her lips. "I give them five more minutes."

They both knew the wait was perhaps pointless. Even though the _they_ in question – surely avid readers of Austen – had agreed to come, it was Friday night and the MCRT was not on call. _True_, Abby had sent a vaguely threatening email, but could her words scare Gibbs out of his basement? Tony out of his neglect of all things paperback that did not involve naked women on the cover? Well, Ducky would have come if he were not attending an ME conference in New Zealand. Her words could still work on McGee...

"Right." Kate bobbed her head, eyeing the door to Abby's apartment as if her stare could summon their colleagues. "There is also traffic. They could very well be –"

_Late. _The knock on the door and Abby's squeal did not let Kate finish, but soon enough an overly enthusiastic Tony and a droopy Probie were joining them around the fireplace in Abby's living room.

"—sorry for being late, Abby. McVainy Pants over here needed to take a shower. It's like – you're like that dude, the chick's father, McGee."

"Sir Walter, Tony." McGee sighed, shrugging off his coat. He then found a seat on the couch next to Abby, taking out _The Collected Novels of Jane Austen. _

"Nicely done, McGee." Abby grinned at the rather thick, leather-bound volume.

Tony cackled and Kate was quick to shoot him a death glare. "Where's your book, Tony?"

"In my car, Kate."

"Then go get it."

"I actually got the audio book."

"You would, Tony." Kate shook her head, biting back a smile.

"At least I'm here. Not like – you know, Gibbs. I thought it was all hands on deck for this one. I mean, that woman's sentences are plain confusing and _so _long. You have any idea how many times I had to rewind back a little? And the boss is getting out of this one, I just, it's just –"

"Unfair, DiNozzo?" Gibbs' low tone in such proximity would scare anyone shitless _(among other things)_, but that whisper in Tony's ear made him jump in his seat.

"You made it, boss-man!" Abby's interruption spared Tony a well-deserved head slap as she wrapped her arms around Gibbs in a tight embrace.

"I said I'd come, Abs." Gibbs kissed her cheek. "So I'm here." He then settled down on the cherry wood rocking chair in the corner of the room, all heads turning to him at once; you could never get rid of sheer instinct, no matter how hard you tried.

Gibbs shook his head, suppressing a laugh. But then, it seemed, a part of him acquiesced to the unspoken plea. "Tony, summary of the first four chapters. McGee, help him out. Abby, talk me through Anne's characterization. Kate – talk to me about Captain Wentworth." When his impromptu task distribution earned him a bout of silence, Gibbs murmured, "Now."

"Uh, we are introduced to the main characters, boss. Sir Walter and his two daughters – well, he has _three _daughters, but that one is married and we don't get to see her - and we learn about their mother's death and how that other lady, lady –"

"Russell," McGee supplied.

"—is like a second mother to them, to Anne especially. Even if she gives the worst advice, I mean, Frederick had so much potential, come on! Then we find out Sir Walter here – can I just call him Wally? No? _Okay. – _is kind of broke and now they are off to Bath because living there is obviously cheaper and they are renting their enormous estate to some Navy guy."

"Admiral Croft."

"Right. But Sir Walter has this thing against the Navy, says the men are all weather-beaten and old-looking. I don't see his problem, boss. You look _fine_ to me. Sure, you're not in your thirties, but you don't look –" Tony trailed off, in search for the right word that would not earn him another death glare and/or a head slap.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs cleared his throat, eyes squinted dangerously.

Kate giggled, but before she could come to Tony's rescue (she was not cruel, _okay__)_, McGee helped him out. "Old. You don't look _old_, boss."

Gibbs pressed his lips into a thin line, but his eyes betrayed his amusement. "Thank you, McGee. DiNozzo, anything else happen?"

"Well, the Elliots are renting their estate to the Admiral and Anne turns out to be a naughty, _naughty _girl. I'll let Kate talk about the mushy stuff," Tony said, winking at his partner.

Kate rolled her eyes. "You love it, Tony." _And was he now blushing?_

"Anything to add, McGee?"

"Uh, Tony forgot to mention Austen's narrator, who is not your typical 3rd person narrator because she is not entirely objective and –"

"How is that part of the summary, McGeek?" Tony gave Gibbs an apologetic smile.

_Someone was trying too hard to get into their boss' good graces after that slipup, _Kate thought.

"Well, the narrator feels like a character to me, Tony. She is so involved in the story and you could only guess at whose opinion she's expressing at any certain time and given how often Austen uses FID, I mean –"

"FID?"

"Never mind, Tony." McGee sighed.

"You're right, Tim." Abby's grin stretched from one ear to the other and she glanced at Kate. They had not expected such a turnout, with all of them _here _and participating? "Gibbs! Can I talk about Anne now? Yes? Great, because she is like, the best Austen heroine." Abby took a deep breath before continuing. "She is such an introvert and she is so sweet and kind, even if she is 'only Anne' to her father and sister. And then we find out about Frederick and how they almost got married eight years ago and he turns out to be the brother of the Admiral's wife?And so Anne kind of freaks out because what if they meet, Gibbs? The angst." Abby exhales sharply and looks at the stunned faces around her. "I'm invested, _okay._"

"I like her, too, Abby," McGee said, giving her shoulder an awkward pat.

"Kate?" Gibbs turned to her, only to find her already looking at him. _Right. He had taught them anticipation, if anything. _

"Captain Wentworth's brilliant. Intelligent, _headstrong._" She smiled at that, glancing at her feet to avoid Gibbs' probing gaze.

"So?"

"So they fall in love." Kate looked up, locking eyes with Gibbs. "But he's not rich and both Anne's father and Lady Russell consider their marriage a most 'degrading alliance'. And Lady Russell manages to talk Anne out of the engagement and Anne ends up breaking it off."

"Such persuasion." Tony raises his hand up to Kate, who is sitting next to him, a _ see-what-I-did-there_ smirk on his face. "Don't leave me hangin, Kate." She did, _leave him hanging._

"Good." Gibbs smiles, then gets up to leave.

Once more, all heads turn to him, but Kate is the one to voice their thoughts. "Aren't you going to say anything, Gibbs?"

"I'll see you on Monday."

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_He was, at that time, a remarkably fine young man, with a great deal of intelligence, spirit, and brilliancy; and Anne an extremely pretty girl, with gentleness, modesty, taste, and feeling. Half the sum of attraction, on either side, might have been enough, for he had nothing to do, and she had hardly anybody to love; but the encounter of such lavish recommendations could not fail. They were gradually acquainted, and when acquainted, rapidly and deeply in love. It would be difficult to say which had seen highest perfection in the other, or which had been the happiest: she, in receiving his declarations and proposals, or he in having them accepted. (Chapter IV, Persuasion)_

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**AN: **I still don't know if this is a one-shot or a longer fic. I might continue this and have them finish the book if there's interest in the story (:


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